Rachel Schultz wishes husband(s) didn't have ex-girlfriend(s).
Rachel Schultz wishes her husband didn't have that ex-girlfriend.
If I sat down and made a list of my flaws, lack of follow through in relationships--I'll admit it, lack of loyalty--would be on it. I've half-attempted to analyze this in the past. Do I just not care? Am I really too busy? Do I have an out of sight, out of mind mentality? Is this the one area in my life that I've designated to laziness? In the end, I like to think that it comes down to this: I don't like to force things. If someone ignores me, I go away. Enter my husband's most recent ex-girlfriend, "What's Her Face" (I'm not being either mean or respectful by refusing to acknowledge that she has a name; her current title was recommended by my counselor).
Granted, the transition faze between their relationship and ours was quite short. They had just broken up a month or two before I moved in to the apartment complex where they had lived...together. Having met while she was on a two month trip, he returned to the complex a month later to ask me out. I understand that the breakup process can be long and emotional, but their rocky relationship had lasted less than two years. Regardless, I was more than hesitant to start dating him in the first place because of the sensitive geography and emotional baggage. I broke up with him a few months into our relationship when I found out that she had called wanting to know if there was even a glimmer of hope for them, and again a few months later because it seemed she was never going to leave the complex that he had left when they broke up. In weighing the issue, however, it never seemed best to write him off for good, and, in less than two years, we were married. Take that, bitch.
Blame my upbringing or history of acceptance issues: I've always struggled with the idea of What's Her Face. And it didn't help that she popped up every now and then, calling him to ask why he picked me over her, what's wrong with her, why did she waste her time on him. Being a loyal, perhaps overly nurturing, and sensitive guy, my husband accepted her calls and tried to make her feel better about their breakup. The climax came when she called him sobbing (from Vietnam) the day after we got engaged. Wasn't he ever attracted to her? He sent her an email to make her feel better, being at the time a stupid man panicking over causing heartbreak. When I found it ten months later, I nearly left him. Knowing that he was on incredibly thin ice, he sent her an email requesting to "cut off all ties" and assured me that he'd never hear from her again.
If you so much as look at me the wrong way, odds are I won't come around again. This girl seemed to be my polar opposite, and I couldn't trust her any more than I could forget my husband's simple email password. I don't consider myself much of a meddler, but at this point in the saga, I figure I have full rights to all incoming information. So I checked his inbox from time to time. I know, this is petty and pestilent, but it felt in some ways like my right--my duty--to protect what's mine.
And sure enough, six months after the "break the ties" email was sent, she dropped a note to say hello. "It's weird we're not friends anymore...with all the promises to 'always be there for each other.'" It was reminiscent of a high school yearbook. The manipulative comments made my heart pound and stomach drop for about nine seconds, and then I got over it. (OK, OK, so the fact that I'm blogging passionately about it shows that I'm not, but...) In a way, seeing that this girl just doesn't know when to take a hint (or a blatant request to never hear from her again) restored some of my trust in my husband. If a guy that dumped you over three years ago never initiated contact with you, got married, and asked (nicely) to never hear from you again, what would you do? I'd take my cue at the break-up, no matter how consoling and encouraging his words were. Perhaps his recent appearance on Facebook sparked her insatiable need to annoy people who are ignoring her. "We want to make sure that you are, in fact, friends." Indeed, we're not.
No comments:
Post a Comment